Just Need To
by Jen20
Summary: Post-Lessons "I like her." "I know." "I wanna watch out for her. Keep protecting her, best I can, at least." "Yeah?" "'Til the end of the world."
1. Just Need To

**Author: **Jennifer  
**Disclaimer:**The characters of _Buffy: The Vampire Slayer_ do not belong to me, but to Joss Whedon and UPN.**  
Spoilers: **Post-_Lessons_ (Season 7 opener) References to _Fool For Love_ and Season 6**  
Summary: **School basement. Dawn. Buffy. Newly souled and questionably crazy Spike.  
**Feedback:** I'd love some : )  
**Author's Notes: **It's in a script format (more detailed of the littler things, though), but I've kind of forgotten exactly how it works, so it may be some wrong. And, plus, the little poem about William the Bloody is from the original final scene of _Beneath You_, although, I altered it some.

JUST NEED TO

1          INT.            SCHOOL BASEMENT – MORNING  
  
Camera goes slowly down grim, gray corridor. The sound of water dripping is heard softly in the background. The camera moves past two large RATS and turns the corner revealing

DAWN  
Buffy, I get what you were telling me now.

She pauses a moment as we  
CUT TO: BUFFY, her eyes are tired and mournful as she listens to her younger sister.

DAWN (cont'd)  
Spike isn't good. He will never be good.

A beat. The camera is still on BUFFY and we see her wince slightly at the words.

DAWN (cont'd)  
Are you taking that back?

CUT TO: DAWN, her eyes are wide and she sounds exasperated

DAWN (cont'd)  
After what he did…*tried* to do?

Pause. DAWN flails out her arms and gently stomps her foot on the cement floor.

DAWN (cont'd)  
He tried to rape you!

CUT TO: BUFFY, who's had enough

BUFFY  
But he didn't!

She pauses, her arms firmly at her sides. There are no sounds, omitting the drips of water that seem to be louder as no words escape from neither sister. BUFFY's eyes remain locked onto the younger girl's. Sighing…

BUFFY  
And… (searching for words) Look, Dawn, last year…(beat) I've done things that I'm not proud of _at all_.

CUT TO: LONGSHOT of BUFFY and her sister. The slayer's eyes flicker to something behind DAWN. BUFFY's voice is subdued

BUFFY (cont'd)  
Oh…the things I did to him –

DAWN (Interrupts, a tint of anger in her eyes)  
No, you listen to me! What he did was UNFORGIVEABLE!

CUT TO: BUFFY, her gaze lowers to the floor, her face blank

OS - DAWN (cont'd)  
He tried to FORCE himself on you! There is nothing you could've done that is worse than that!

CUT TO: DAWN, she looks as if she is about to cry, as her voice gets louder

DAWN (cont'd)  
What can you have done that was even POSSIBLY, REMOTELY close to tha —

She stops abruptly when she hears something behind her, mouth still hanging slightly open.

OS – MALE VOICE: BRITISH  
Used my love, abused my body, and screwed me 'til I cried.

DAWN slowly closes her mouth and turns, just as slowly, to look behind her. The camera moves to show SPIKE, he is in the shadows, sitting on the ground. His knees are to his chest and he leans on the dirty wall. As we move closer to him, we see his roots are evident, his curly hair, and his black shirt unbuttoned revealing deep gashes on his chest.

SPIKE (muttering)  
It's a poem. Of sorts.

SPIKE's head is down. His left elbow rests on his left knee and his right elbow is tucked between his thigh and stomach as his right hand runs through his messy hair.

SPIKE (cont'd)  
William the Bloody Awful Poet, died and he didn't know it (chuckles), but he skips down the lane, bad dog, good dog, it's always the sodding same.

He giggles at his poem, then stops abruptly as if he's been slapped

SPIKE (cont'd)  
Poetry. Poetry. Poetry…

He continues his babblings as we CUT TO a shot of all three. BUFFY is still blank as she stares at SPIKE. DAWN's anger has been replaced my slight horror, confusion, and shock-though she is not surprised the vampire is there, surprised at what the vampire is saying. She turns back to BUFFY, only to jolt back around when SPIKE suddenly yells  
CUT TO: SPIKE

SPIKE  
ENOUGH WITH THE POETRY!

His head buries deeper into his knees and hand as his words crack and break

SPIKE (cont'd)  
Butterflies wings wilt and the pretty puppies run away, like they do.

CUT TO: DAWN with BUFFY in the back ground. The focus is on DAWN as confusion etches in deeper. As the focus switches to BUFFY, we see a range of emotions on her. Confusion, sadness, and a touch of concern?  
CUT TO: SPIKE

SPIKE (cont'd)  
(Stronger) And it's dark and bright, and I'm stuck in the middle.

He bangs his head back against the wall and his left arm falls from his knee to his side, hitting the ground with a soft thud. Immediately, as his hand touches the ground, he brings it up to his chest and pushes. His head moves back and forth twice, eyes closed, banging the wall each time.

SPIKE (cont'd)  
Oh, God… Oh, God…

CUT TO: BUFFY and DAWN, they both stare at SPIKE. The dripping water is all of a sudden very loud again. The bell signaling class was starting rings and startles DAWN. When the ringing ceases, it's a couple of moments before someone speaks  
CUT TO: BUFFY, her voice is soft

BUFFY (to DAWN)  
You don't want to be late for class. (Beat)  
You should go.

CUT TO: DAWN, she is now facing BUFFY. Her eyes are watery.

DAWN  
B-Buffy…?

CUT TO: SPIKE, still in the same position, but now his cheek is pressed against the wall and his hand are tugging at the collar of his shirt. He pushes is back behind, seemingly trying to disappear into the gray stone (err…cement…THE WALL).

SPIKE  
No, no, no, no…

CUT TO: CLOSE-UP of BUFFY and DAWN. BUFFY's eyes go from behind DAWN and back. Her voice is stern, yet still quiet

BUFFY  
Dawn go.

CUT TO: SPIKE, pushing against the wall, he is now shaking his head while his right hand is on his temple, his fingers pushing hard into his skin. His eyes are shut tight.

SPIKE  
The water burns too deep. I'm afraid I can't see.

CUT TO: DAWN, she turns back towards SPIKE  
CUT TO: BUFFY, her voice isn't as strong.

BUFFY  
Dawn, please, go.

CUT TO: DAWN, looking at SPIKE sadly  
CUT TO: SPIKE, his eyes are still shut tightly, causing wrinkles to form around his eyelids. Both of his hands are now pressing against his temple. His back is pushing so hard into the wall, he's not really kneeling anymore. He is breathing

SPIKE (voice cracking)  
Pleading now…(beat) pleading, pleading…

A pause.

SPIKE (cont'd)  
(voice cracking) PLEASE!

SPIKE bangs his head loudly back.  
CUT TO: DAWN, who jumps a little, then slowly walks away. Her footsteps echo through the basement  
CUT TO: BUFFY and SPIKE

He drops back down to the floor. SPIKE stopped pushing. His eyes are finally open. BUFFY takes a few tiny steps toward him. SPIKE is looking at everything, but her. She decreases the size of the gap between them and slowly kneels in front of SPIKE.  
CUT TO: CLOSE-UP of SPIKE, looking towards the side, still breathing. BUFFY comes into view and her hand reaches up and stops, an inch away from his face. Hesitating, BUFFY gently strokes his cheek. SPIKE closes his eyes and leans a little to her touch and lets out a shaking, un-needed breath. BUFFY's voice is soft and breathy

BUFFY  
Spike…

She lets her hand climb into his hair, then trail back down to his cheek.  
CLOSE-UP: SPIKE, the warmth of BUFFY's hand seems to calm him.

OS - BUFFY  
Why do you come back?

SPIKE opens his eyes and blinks at her, as if the answer is the most obvious thing in the world

SPIKE  
Love…Buffy…(beat) It's you.

CUT TO: CLOSE-UP of BUFFY. Her face show an unreadable emotion

OS - SPIKE (cont'd)  
Always you…

Tears fill her eyes. She is now even more depressed than before. Of course it's her. He _loves_ her. And she wonders why she never believed him until now.  
CUT TO: CLOSE-UP of SPIKE. He gently takes her hand from his cheek and places her palm against his lips and closes his eyes once again. No soft kiss, just her palm softly against his lips. He only utters one word.

SPIKE  
Why?

CUT TO: CLOSE-UP of SPIKE and BUFFY, taking her hand slowly away from him. His eyes open. Blue meets green. Their voices almost inaudible and the water is still dripping in the background

BUFFY  
'Why' what?

SPIKE  
Why do _you_ come back?

CLOSE-UP: BUFFY.

FADE OUT.


	2. Bloody Things

**Author: **Jennifer  
**Disclaimer:**The characters of _Buffy: The Vampire Slayer_ do not belong to me, but to Joss Whedon and UPN.**  
Spoilers: **Post-_Lessons_ (Season 7 opener)**  
Summary: **Xander stumbles across Spike.  
**Feedback:** I'd love some : )  
**Author's Notes: **It's in a script format, but I've kind of forgotten exactly how it works, so it may be some wrong. _Can_ be a stand-alone fic. And the beginning of scene three takes place where that big hole is in the girl's bathroom (just in case).

BLOODY THINGS

Someone is humming as we FADE IN to  
  


2          INT.      SCHOOL BASEMENT - EVENING

Camera moves slowly around the corner. The humming increases volume. SPIKE comes into view, looking exactly the same as before. He is huddled into the corner, causing the humming.  His head is resting against the wall. His eyes are closed.

SPIKE (singing)  
Who's my savior now?

CLOSE-UP of: SPIKE, who stops singing and opens his eyes.

                        SPIKE

            Hello, Love.

CUT TO: LONG-SHOT of BUFFY standing in front of SPIKE holding a PLASTIC BAG and a BLACK COAT. She looks pensive.

BUFFY (quietly)  
Hey.

CUT TO: SPIKE. His mutters are muffled as his arm is pushed up to his mouth. He doesn't look at BUFFY, although he nervously glances up a couple of times – muttering all the while.

CUT TO SIDE-SHOT: CLOSE-UP of BUFFY, who bends down so she is eyelevel with the vampire. She stumbles over her words a bit.

BUFFY  
How…How are you?

CUT TO: SPIKE, who is still talking into his arm.

CUT TO: LONG-SHOT of BUFFY and SPIKE. She places the PLASTIC BAG and BLACK COAT on the ground.

BUFFY  
I brought you some blood.

SPIKE looks at the items in front of him. He removes his arm, but does not say anything. Staring hard at his duster, he starts to rock back and forth slightly. BUFFY notices this.

BUFFY  
And your coat. (Pause) Just in case…

CLOSE-UP of SPIKE, his eye are closed again. He looks as if he is trying too hard to relax. BUFFY's hand slowly comes into view in front of him.

BUFFY  
Spike?

BUFFY's hand rests on his. His eyes snap open, he looks frightened and angry, he jerks back his hand

SPIKE (yells)  
No! Stay away! Go away!

LONG SHOT: Buffy jumps back, surprised

BUFFY  
Spike? Wh-What's wrong?

SPIKE rocks faster, his arms rest on his knees, which are drawn up tightly to his chest. His voice is hoarse and his eyes are closed again, as if shutting them will keep him from thinking

                        SPIKE  
Oh…(giggles) if only you knew. (Pause) If only…if only. Shh…shh…everything will be okay. (Chuckles loudly) Is that a good lie!? Everything will be okay… 

CUT TO: BUFFY, having enough, turns around, eyes big, face sad, and runs off, leaving SPIKE alone.

CUT TO: SPIKE, his eyes are open again. He realizes he is alone and his mouth is tight. He looks toward the black leather folded neatly.

SPIKE (muttering)  
Bloody coat.

He stopped his rocking and looks at the PLASTIC BAG, undoubtedly containing some blood packs.  
CLOSE-UP: SPIKE, he looks at the bags.

FADE OUT

3          INT.      SUNNYDALE HIGH'S GIRL'S RESTROOM/SCHOOL BASEMENT – NOON

EVEN SHOT: BRIAN, a construction worker, is standing on a ladder. He looks down behind him

BRIAN  
Lunchtime, boss man!

CUT TO: XANDER, putting some debris of brick and wood into a wheel-barrel. He looks up at BRIAN

XANDER  
You guys go on ahead. I'll be right behind you. 

He takes off his gloves and puts them in along with the bricks. We hear BRIAN'S footsteps go up the latter in the background. XANDER lets out a heavy sigh and turns toward the latter.

XANDER (quietly to himself)  
You know, normal schools usually don't acquire gigantic holes in the middle of the girl's bathroom on the first day of school. (Chuckles) That's Sunnyhell High for yah.

The camera follows him as he starts to climb up. He stops when he hears a SLAM behind him. XANDER turns around.

CUT TO: XANDER'S POV of the dark basement ahead.

CUT TO: EVEN SHOT of XANDER. He looks back up into the restroom, then back towards the depths of the basement. He warily walks into the darkness. He calls out nervously and looks around

XANDER  
Uhh… Any Evil Manifestations Spirits Controlled By A Talisman down here?

We follow him as he studies his surroundings. XANDER catches red splotches on the far wall. He squints as he walks closer. His steps are slow, as we reach close and closer, we see that the splotches create letters and words. He walks closer, expecting it to be a warning of doom or something. XANDER is surprised as it reads:

**Bless me, Father, for I have sinned**

XANDER stares in shock for a moment. This wasn't even graffiti. He reaches his hand up and rubs the read letters. Dried blood. He quickly pulls his hand back. He looks to his left slowly, sure enough there's a series of blood splotches down the corridor on the wall.

CUT TO: XANDER's POV as we move forward and stop in front of the message:

**A century of death and blood shed  
Of torture, of rape  
Their screams echo over mine  
But above them all is beneath me.  
Can I be forgiven?**

CUT TO: EVEN SHOT of XANDER, his jaw is open. He is confused and a little bit of fear is painted onto his face. What is this? He moves his head to the left, and walks towards where his gaze is. Another one:

**TELL ME  
CAN I BE FORGIVEN  
CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN I CAN**

The last "n" is smeared and the wall has cracks and dents in it as if it has been punched over and over. XANDER can't believe his eyes. He walks slowly into one of the storage rooms.

CUT TO: XANDER'S FEET as he passes by a messily folded BLACK COAT.

CUT TO: XANDER, looking around.

CUT TO: LONG SHOT of XANDER and the room. He sees SPIKE crouched in the corner. At first, XANDER is startled

XANDER  
Spike?

XANDER'S eyes darken as realization settles in

XANDER (hard)  
Spike.

XANDER takes a step forward to get a better look of SPIKE, who is in the shadows.

CUT TO: SPIKE is kneeling on the ground. Two empty packets of blood are strewn in front of him. An empty PLASTIC BAG is in the further left. His hands -- covered in the thick red liquid, half dry – are at his sides. He is not looking at XANDER. His voice is small, as if he were talking to a teacher.

SPIKE (stumbling and quick)  
Someone said…who said?

CUT TO: XANDER, staring at SPIKE coldly

OS – SPIKE (cont'd)  
Who said it? Someone said once:

CUT TO: EVEN SHOT of SPIKE and XANDER

SPIKE (cont'd)  
"All that lives is holy" Am I holy?

XANDER starts to make a comment, but SPIKE continues

SPIKE (cont'd)  
Am I living? No. Hardly. Not at all. Dead. Dead. Undead.

A beat.

CUT TO: SPIKE, he laughs

SPIKE  
Vampire.

CUT TO: XANDER, confused.

CUT TO: EVEN SHOT of them both. SPIKE is shaking his head; he raises his hands to rub his forehead, but gasps when his hands touch his skin. He looks at his red hands as if he just noticed the liquid on them. His brows furrow and he opens his mouth in slight horror.

XANDER'S anger and confusion battle and in the end the latter wins.

XANDER  
What –

CUT TO: CLOSE-UP of SPIKE. He finally looks up at XANDER. His voice is surprised

SPIKE  
There so much blood on my hands.

CUT TO: BLACK


	3. Conversations Of The Best, Not

**Author: **Jennifer  
**Disclaimer:**The characters of _Buffy: The Vampire Slayer_ do not belong to me, but to Joss Whedon and UPN.**  
Spoilers: **Post-_Lessons_ (Season 7 opener)**  
Summary: **Spike and Xander. Snippets of some conversations  
**Feedback:** I'd love some : )  
**Author's Notes: **It's in a script format, but I've kind of forgotten exactly how it works, so it may be some wrong. _Can_ be a stand-alone fic.

CONVERSATIONS OF THE BEST, NOT

4          INT.      SAME PLACE WE LEFT OFF (SCHOOL BASEMENT – SOME TIME AFTER NOON)  
  
We see scattered empty packets of blood and a messily discarded BLACK COAT on the floor. Camera moves up to the wall and keeps moving around. The room is lighted by light bulb on the ceiling. The camera keeps moving until it reveals SPIKE and XANDER sitting side by side. Maybe three feet of space between them. They're both leaning against the wall, legs splayed out in front of them and their eyes ahead, staring at nothing.

SPIKE  
Evil Willow?  
  
            XANDER  
Yup.  
  
            SPIKE  
Huh.  
  
            XANDER  
Yup.

They stop talking and it is silent for a few moments.  
CUT TO: XANDER, who picks some lint off his shirt. He glances to his left at SPIKE.

XANDER  
So… What's up with you lately?

CUT TO: SPIKE. He raises his left eyebrow with a "what do you think" look  
CUT TO: SPIKE and XANDER

XANDER (cont'd)  
_Minus_ the whole insanity part?

SPIKE returns his gaze back to the empty room.

CUT TO: SPIKE, he shakes his head and blinks rapidly. His right hand rises to rub his left eye. He speaks rapidly without stopping.

SPIKE  
Stupid beetles. I hate beetles. Have I mentioned how much I hate beetles? Especially ones that crawl up your nose and scratch at your insides. Demon. Trial. Soul. (Beat) OH, GOD! Will you all just…

SPIKE raises his other hand, as they clutch at his head. He scream comes out as a loud groan.

SPIKE (cont'd)  
…SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP?

He takes a deep breath and places his hands back at his sides as he slowly calms down and looks back up.

                        SPIKE  
            I'll have you to know, I have some moments of lucidity.

CUT TO: XANDER, looking at the vampire with wide eyes, startled by the shout. Then something sinks in.

CUT TO: EVEN SHOT of SPIKE and XANDER. XANDER is still looking at SPIKE, sitting silently.

XANDER (wary)  
Soul?

CUT TO: BLACK  
  
   
5          IMMIDEIATE SHOT TO: SPIKE, holding a open paper bag, peering into it.  
  
INT.      BASEMENT – THURSDAY 7:00 PM

SPIKE  
Wings.

Camera moves backwards and we see SPIKE is sitting on attack of piled up desks. XANDER is sitting a few feet away from him, within an arms length.

XANDER  
Uhh…yeah.

CUT TO: XANDER, who also has a paper bag.

XANDER (cont'd)  
You mentioned something about spicy buffalos yesterday.

He starts to take items out of the bag.  
CUT TO: SPIKE, he is still looking into his bag. He reaches into it.

SPIKE  
Hmm. Don't recall. (takes out a wing and looks at it) This would be great with some beer.

CUT TO: EVEN SHOT of both men. SPIKE is looking at XANDER expectantly.

XANDER  
(Scoffs) Yeah, maybe when you're not so crazy.

XANDER takes out two bottles from his bag. He places one in front of SPIKE and opens the bottle in his hand.

XANDER (cont'd)  
In the mean time, (he raises the open bottle at SPIKE) there's apple juice. Perfect substitute. (Takes a swig) See? Looks like beer.

CUT TO: SPIKE, taking a bite out of the chicken. He looks away.

SPIKE (mutters)  
Beer looks like beer. Blood looks like blood. (He drops the wing into the bag) But the bees never sting in winter.

CUT TO: XANDER, looking at the vampire

XANDER  
Right…

CUT TO: SPIKE, with his eyes still closed.

                        SPIKE

Right. It doesn't sting when I pretend I don't exist.

He grabs out the chicken and takes another bite. Then drops it back in. Takes it out. Bites. Drops it in. He opens his eyes and blinks rapidly.

CUT TO: SPIKE and XANDER

XANDER (optimistically)  
I think your getting better.

Beat.

SPIKE  
Why must it always burn?

There's a pause. XANDER looks as if he doesn't know what to say. Well, there really isn't anything to say.

XANDER  
Have you told Buffy?  
  
            SPIKE  
(His eyes are closed again) No.  
              
            XANDER  
Me neither.  
  
            SPIKE  
That's good, then.  
  
            XANDER  
Does she know you're here?  
              
            SPIKE  
(He opens his eyes) Does it matter?

FADE OUT.

  
 6         INT.      SCHOOL BASEMENT – FRIDAY 9:00PM  
  
SPIKE and XANDER are sitting cross-legged on the floor. Both are playing their own game of solitaire in silence.

CUT TO: SPIKE, looking at his own cards, he glances at XANDER'S game before scowling and turning back to his.

CUT TO: XANDER who smiles triumphantly. He's finished. Placing his hands on his knees, he looks up.

XANDER  
I'm done first. I win.

CUT TO: EVEN SHOT of SPIKE and XANDER. They are collecting their cards and they set up a new game. Playing in silence for a few moments, then, without shifting his gaze from the game, SPIKE speaks

SPIKE  
Harris.

XANDER doesn't look away from his cards

XANDER  
What?

SPIKE  
(Without pause) You hate me.

XANDER  
(Falters a little, but doesn't look up) And that's news to you…?

SPIKE  
(Still keeps his gaze at his game) I dislike you too. Even with a sodding soul.

XANDER  
Yes…?

SPIKE  
(Sighs, eyes still on the cards) Why do you come down here to check on me?

Pause. CUT TO: XANDER, a frown on his face as he plays.

EVEN SHOT of them both

XANDER  
Every time, when I first come down, (Pause) I want to beat you into a bloody pulp for what you've done.

SPIKE  
What stops you?

XANDER  
Dunno. I feel like I should help. I'm not heartless.

Beat.  
CUT TO: SPIKE, looking down at his cards before taking another from the deck.

SPIKE  
Dawn comes by sometimes.

CUT TO: XANDER, his eyebrow raise in slight surprise. He continues his game.

XANDER  
Really?

CUT TO: SPIKE and XANDER

SPIKE  
Yeah. School days. Lunch. Noon. Tells me about her classes. We talk. She talks. I sit. I like her.

XANDER  
(Glances up at SPIKE, then looks back) Yeah. I know.

SPIKE  
I wanna watch out for her. Keep protecting her, best I can, at least.

XANDER  
(He pauses his game and looks at the vampire) Yeah?

CUT TO: SPIKE, still at his game

SPIKE  
'Til the end of the world. (Without looking up) I win.

CUT TO: BLACK

7                                  OS – XANDER  
Does Buffy ever come down here?

INT.      SCHOOL BASEMENT – MONDAY 6:00PM

FADE IN.  
  
SPIKE is sitting between a box and the wall. XANDER is sitting on the other side of the room. They have a bouncy ball. XANDER throws. Vampire catches.

SPIKE  
Yes. (Sighs) She runs off so quickly though. (Throws)

CUT TO: XANDER, catching the ball.

XANDER  
(Pause, he looks at the ball) Oh. (Throws)

CUT TO: LONG-SHOT of the two, the ball flying back and forth. No one says anything for a while, the only sound are the 'woosh' s as the ball flies.

SPIKE  
(Hesitates) Fifteen minutes and thirty-two seconds was the longest.

XANDER  
(Catches) What? (Throws)

SPIKE  
Her record. (Catches) Fifteen minutes and thirty-two seconds.

XANDER  
Oh.

Pause. It's quiet.  
CUT TO: SPIKE, he throws the ball to XANDER

FADE OUT.

OS – SPIKE  
How's ex-ex-demon girl?


End file.
